So, I just read an article about a person who stutters, and how he overcame the fears of stuttering. How he thinks that Stuttering, for some, is a `gift`.
"If I could be with you today, I would tell you that everyone who stutters can be a fluent speaker, if they choose.
I believe that stuttering is a gift granted to certain people, a key that opens up parts of the human psyche that would not be opened otherwise. I also think that those who work with stutterers can come away better people themselves for it, if they open their minds and hearts to what they are experiencing.
But nice words and thoughts do not negate the handicap that stuttering can create in young and old alike. That handicap can be fixed. Maybe not quickly. Maybe not easily. The key is not giving up—for both the clinician and the client. No one should have to suffer through life because they stutter."
This made me want to overcome, my fears related to Stuttering too- but, I fear my one-track-mind would bother me, stress me out to think I need to focus on just Stuttering now, etc.
Why does having hobbies, and choosing a career have to be this hard- I make it hard on myself. I have a stupid one track mind way of thinking, I need to stop it, somehow, but I dont know how to stop the way I think- I feel lost and overwhelmed having the like so many things.... for some reason i need to narrow it down to the one thing i want in life, in a career. And fixate on it..
Maybe I just need to stop being afraid of blocking, of looking ridiculous, that fact that I wish for the unthinkable- " I wonder what I can do if I never stuttered". It obvious that I hate my speech impediment.. I cant get along with it.
I would always feel it`s in the way of what I want to be or do.
Even if its a job I want, i fear the part when I have to be social with clients, or patrons.
Stuttering still has a grip on my life.
If I can overcome this fear- I can still do whatever I want.
I need to have thicker skin!
But, at the same time, I feel I shouldnt let Stuttering decide my career. Although, I am not saying becoming a Speech Therapist is a bad idea. ( I`ve thought of going down this path before, too)
I both, despise Stuttering, yet I am fascinated about it. lol
I used to think I stuttered for a reason- born with this lifelong challenge, to help others who suffer from it, too.
I just don`t think I`m smart enough to major in Speech Pathology, and also SLP Assistant`s aren`t needed these days. So it`ll be a huge risk, or a waste of money and time, if I do go down this path, again.
Also, partly, I feel if i go this path, I`d feel my Stuttering would be choosing my career for me..
I am just afraid that, in the future, the ignorant people would think I`m stupid or laugh at me at work or in public.
This may never even happen though, it`s all in my paranoid mind.
Ugh, Stuttering, you`re always a shadow within me- watching my every step.